Being Still

For anyone who knows me well, you know that being still and I don't really get along. Mark Moore, who is currently teaching a Sunday school class at our church asked a question last week that made me squirm a little. The class is titled "Christianity and the Arts." Rich was gung-ho; I was hesitant. I'm not "culchad" like that. He loved his art appreciation classes in college. How well I remember quizzing him from those flash cards. And our trip to Washington DC that summer included a visit to the Museum of Fine Art. *Yawn.*
"Elizabeth, isn't this print of the Mona Lisa amazing? Look at the shadows, the elegang brush strokes."
Me: "Dude, it's a PRINT. This isn't even the real one." I do remember enough from my own art appreciate class to know that the real mccoy is in The Louvre in gay Paris.
Give me the symphony any day of the week, but pu-leeeease do not ask me to look at fine art with you. For me, it's like opera. Make it stop!!
Anyway, the first week of the class was a pleasant surprise. There were a lot of fun questions asked, and hey, it's Dr. Mark teaching it. 'Nuff said. The question that was the zinger for me dealt with boredom and feeling guilty for being bored. There's a phone commercial, I think, whose catch phrase is "communication at the speed of life." We move so quickly that oftentimes we don't know what to do with downtime. I certainly don't. I'm constantly moving, whether it's cooking, cleaning, laundry, and don't even get me started on things that relate directly to Things 1-3. It drives Rich crazy at times.
So yesterday was one of those really bad days. Thing 3 only takes one nap a day. ONE. And she has for as long as I can remember; and she takes it in the morning. Yeah. So, in the afternoon I let my mind again wander to the working world. I'm restless here at home. Yes, this is what I wanted (granted, what I wanted before I knew what it was all about). Funny how that happens... I tried to come up with ways to make it work. "The 2 younger kids could go to daycare of some kind, Jack will be in kindergarten, and I could be out in the working world again." And that's just the job part. How do you juggle all of that plus things like dinner, laundry, and clean bathrooms?
But what is best for my kids? I think there needs to be, for me, a certain level of dying unto self. There needs to be a major attitude adjustment here with me. I need to learn how to stay home more with my children instead of going all the time. Heck, I pick my boys up from preschool and Jack almost always asks me, "Did you run ALL your errands? Are we going home?"
This is my job. Yes, it's difficult, it's never ending, and one day I will have time on my hands. I might even be bored from time to time, and I will probably miss this stage of my life very, very much.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10